Growing Older, Messing Up, and Making Art of It: Inside “Old Fat F**k Up”

In Old Fat F**k Up, writer-performer Olly Hawes confronts modern masculinity, parenthood, and the uneasy balance between failure and self-acceptance. Set over the course of a single day in the life of a struggling father, the show explores the weight of expectation, the fading relevance of theatre, and the collective exhaustion of a generation promised more. We spoke to Olly to find out more.  

Old Fat F**k Up is a great title - where did it come from?

Thank you! Well, it comes from me - I feel older, fatter and like I fuck up more and more. I think, perhaps, this is present in some degree to every person as they enter into middle age - and it’s not just about physicality, it’s sort of a state of mind. You could say it’s almost my mantra. To be honest I’m a little bit nervous about using the word ‘Fat’ - but hopefully people can appra

How does the show explore what it’s like to be a man and a parent today?

In some ways the show is really simple - it’s a day in the life of a middle aged parent who’s struggling - struggling with parenting, struggling with career, struggling with his relationship. We see the dichotomy between internal monologue and exterior actions - those two things can appear to be so wildly different - but of course they’re so intimately connected. But the show is also a celebration of and a funeral for the theatrical form - I’ve seen so much theatre where I’ve just felt the writer has tried to write a play to launch a TV career - and that pisses me off so much. I’m a man, and I’m a theatre maker, and I feel - whether I’m right to feel this or not I don’t know (or really care) - but I feel the apparent lack of importance theatre has in our culture is, in some ways, an attack on me as a man - so I’m trying to make something that both celebrates and cristises masculinity, and does the same for theatre itself.

Do you think the show speaks to a particular generation - or is it something anyone can relate to?

My long time collaborator Nick Cassenbaum always says: it’s through the specific, we get the universal. And of course, this show is no different.

What kind of conversations do you hope audiences have after leaving Old Fat F**k Up?

I expect some people will find parts of it uncomfortable, maybe even confronting. But for me, the aim isn’t to take a side - it’s to express a feeling that so many people recognise but keep buried. That’s where the truth usually lives. I hope people will love the show for its humour, for its heart - but also be troubled by it - because it’s main theme - the impact the dwindling hope we have for a better future has on modern masculinity - and the actions of men all around us - is troubling - deeply troubling - and I want to stir up the conversation we’re having around it. And while it’s framed through masculinity, I think what it’s really poking at is the wider exhaustion - that collective sense that we’ve all been promised something better and it’s never quite arrived. There’s a line I still can’t quite say without tensing up. I’m still not sure how that moment’s gonna go down - but I like that that uncertainty exists.

What role does humour play in helping you tell such a raw, unsettling story?

Hmmm. So I think the coin that is humour can have two sides with very different effects. It can be  a release valve. It can also be a weapon. I think laughter is how we survive the unbearable - and sometimes how we avoid dealing with it. For me, humour doesn’t soften the blow - it makes it land harder. Because when people laugh, they open up - and that’s the moment you can jab them in the ribs with something that feels big and true. I like to do this in conversation, which makes me a problematic dinner guest - and, to be fair, probably a bit problematic as an artist too.

Do you think younger generations of men face similar pressures, or are those challenges changing?

I know, given the themes of the show I’m about to perform, I should probably have a decent answer for this, but I don’t. I have a young son, and in about 10, 15 years time, I think I’ll have a better idea. I suppose the pressures are one thing, how we build the emotional resilience and intelligence to respond to them is another - and I definitely think we’re getting better at that - but I also wonder if there’s a bit of an arms race going on - as we get better at dealing with the challenges, so the challenges become greater.

Old Fat F**k will be at Riverside Studios over 25 performances from 5^th November – 20^th December. Ticket link HERE.